Rounding out the scoundrel week, we made the newspapers of Cal State Fullerton when we played there on Monday. You can
You can
You can
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First I will tease you with this:
When was the last time you felt like a fool?
Mine was today when I walked into Autozone. I was trying to find something to do while my laundry was in the laundry mat, and I thought, "I bet I could change my own oil." I had seen numerous individuals of my same gender do this, so I knew that with my chromosomes, it was possible. I pulled up to Autozone and headed for the door. But while walking through the entrance, just as the mosquito fan blew me off, I began to feel naked, realizing how little I knew about one of the pillars of American culture: cars. I was about to look like every eager beaver you've ever seen.
When you're in that moment, the moment of being new at something, you feel like what happens there has the potential to make you shudder for years as you remember it. Some of your best qualities - drive, earnestness, optimism, courage, persistence - which come in so handy at other times, can turn on you in a second, taking you from uneducated to foolish in a flash.
Walking into the store, I began sizing things up, and realized pretty quick I'd have to talk to somebody. Hmmm...busy with someone there, busy there. busy......inventory guy. Okay. Deep breath. But on my way over to him, somehow my feet turned another way and my hands started rummaging through something. I was suddenly enthralled with the section of Autozone that could only be interesting when you're trying to avoid one of the most feared male scenarios: trying to do something you don't know how to do in front of another dude.
Jorgé was neither impatient nor compassionate towards me. Instead, he had the true male reaction, which was to recognize a source of revenue and exploit it. Within seconds, Jorgé had me feeling all kinds of oil changey, showering me with this and that, all of it imperative to doing this thing right. "Do I really need hand cleaner?" "Well, I mean, yeah, motor oil is very hard to clean off." I don't know, man, I've had paint on my hands before and soap seemed to do me just fine.
It was only after coming home with the jack, oil pan, shop towels, hand cleaner, Castrol GTX and a funnel that I realized the ultimate response to being exploited. Do you want to know? I should have asked Jorgé whether he needs shop towels and a funnel when he's servicing a car.
Dang, wish I had thought of that when I was at Autozone.
Like a true man, though, my finishing thought is, "yeah, but now I totally know how to change oil."
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