Merry Christmas vs Happy Christmas

Have you ever noticed how the British say Happy Christmas, while Americans say Merry Christmas? I looked this up online recently, and found that someone named Tiffany said on a forum that she feels there is "little difference in meaning between Merry Christmas and Happy Christmas." I don't know who Tiffany is, but clearly she doesn't understand the subtle but vast difference between these two Christmases.

Let me explain. When I say "Happy Christmas," I'm hoping you'll have the kind of anthemic, war-free holiday described in "Happy Christmas / War is Over" by John Lennon. I use Happy Christmas on people who need a little pick-me-up, people who are in a little Christmas funk. I'm saying, "It's Christmas, child, get over yourself. Cheer up, a lot of wars are over, like the Revolutionary and Civil wars."

Merry Christmas clearly has a much more pragmatic, down to earth feel to it. I use Merry Christmas on people who have their head in the clouds, people who are bubbling over with Christmas cheer. I'm wishing them a warm but realistic Christmas, like the one in Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song" (the Chestnuts Roasting on an open fire song). "Though it's been said many times, many ways, merry Christmas to you." It's the perfect way to say, Get ahold of yourself; Christmas can be touching, but keep it sensible.

Now I'm not saying Tiffany can't have both Christmases, I just think you ought to know what you're talking about when you say "Merry Christmas." Just trying to elevate the level of discussion on the dubya dubya dubya.

Thankful for...

Happy Thanksgiving from ER to YOU.

I'm home in Chicago for Thanksgiving, where the sun sets in the middle of the afternoon. It's like Alaska here, geez. It's okay, though, because everyone's still high here from the big Obama win. There's even an Obama section of the newspaper now, which is pretty fun. You can see which restaurants the Obamas ate in this week. You see, we've just been a very important city to the country. He couldn't have done it without us.

So Obama may or may not turn the economy around, but luckily we've got a sweet backup plan just in case things don't change. We know you won't be able to buy music when you're dealing with your foreclosures and all that stuff. So we thought we'd work on some ER sheet music, that way you can memorize the songs for when you have to sell your ipods and stereos. Maybe that's what everyone will do in the recession, just sing old songs all day when the internet breaks. Maybe when they run out of electricity, we can still hold hands and sing alternative rock from the nineties to each other. And I guess it would be a good idea to start passing this blog on as an oral tradition. What if we did?!

If you're really thankful for music this year, we got something for you. Check out www.thesixtyone.com. It's a growing online community for discovering new music. It's all user based, there doesn't appear to be any corporate influence. You 'bump' songs if you like them, and you can check out which ones are getting most bumped. Groups like MGMT and Iron & Wine throw their tracks up there regularly, as well as Utah acts like Chris Merritt and The John Whites. You'll get addicted if you're not careful. Be sure to bump Elizabethan Report songs if you're online soon. We're not doing poorly on there, either, considering we just got on there last week.

Hillery is Falling Asleep

It's been a good, long day, but now it's time to say "goodnight." Hillery's been getting sleepy lately, and she needs to slip into slumber. She'll be playing her last show with us this Saturday at Velour in Provo, and following the show, she'll be tucked into bed. It's been wonderful to be with her, and she'll be missed. We wish her sweet dreams, and that the bed bugs won't bite.

You just wish you looked like this when you were sleeping.

Mullet Pants

That's right, mullet pants. Mullet jeans, really. But is the party in the front, or the back? Either way, watch out, cos whatever's in back is taking over the front.

Look at these dudes. They seem to be enjoying them.

Lil' ER update: Spence and I were working hard on keyboard parts last week for the album. We're going to be cranking out many nights this month to finish the mixes.

Everybody get super apathetic about the show on Saturday night, that way it will be way better than people ever dreamed. Start spreading the word reluctantly now. Explain with ambivalence to your friends how average Saturday night will be. How are they going to want to come after that kind of pitch, you ask? Duh, they like you so much they'd do anything just to be around you. Just make sure to get them there, we'll take care of the rest.

"Hola May" Voted Readers' Favorite

The votes are in, and Hola May has been declared the winner in a heated battle of Favorite ER Song. Hola is reportedly choosing a transition team as we speak, preparing for its term. Asian-American candidate Soy Sauce Sailor gave a warm concession speech as the final votes came in. "This is a great moment in American history, when songs can be considered for this special position on their own merits, regardless of the color of their skin."

But some fervent citizens held out late into last night, dancing uninhibitedly to Soy Sauce Sailor's unrestrained melodies.


Hola May plans to tackle a complex set of issues in office, ranging from email list immigration (fans that come to shows but aren't on the email list) to post-concert health care.

ER on RockNRoll TV

Check out this vid of us. RockNRoll TV is a vlog that features new bands. The guy and girl who do it met us in LA at one of our shows and this is what they put together.

Don't forget to early vote for your favorite song over here.-->

ER Song Election 2008

Countrymen and women, it's time to get some democracy back in the music. It's time to make your voice heard. We don't want just any song having all the power over us. This is music of the people, for the people. We want a balanced musical government, with checks and balances. The first step is to vote, right now. Vote for your favorite song. The poll closes at 11:59 pm November 4, Election Day. Who knows, maybe this year we'll have the first woman song in office.

Vote right over here, while you sit in your comfy chair: -------------\

I'm not sure if you can vote more than once. But you can vote for multiple songs. However, keep it to just a few, we want to keep some sense of discernment.

Let's Talk

ER is almost over autumn sickness. How do y'all feel?

A few of us went to see the new Oliver Stone movie about Bush. We weren't really sure what the point was. If you think he's an idiot walking in to the movie, you're going to think that coming out of it. There was no character development, and the representation of the motives behind policies seemed to make some risky assumptions. Plus, it wasn't funny enough. You should all just watch the trailer, which contains each of the funny parts without sucking 2 hours of your Saturday afternoon away.

Whoa, Negative Norman! Okay, the movie had a great W, played by Josh Brolin, and also had a hilarious shot of Laura Bush stepping on a piece of corn at a party and not tripping.

Thanks all of you who came to the show last night, you are so very special. For those of you who weren't there, you'll get your chance someday. Thanks to Electron Deception and Mathematics Et Cetera for some good shows.

Provo, we love you. We live in you. We like your style, and your vigor. We like driving 15 mph down beautiful Center Street to show you the respect you deserve. We flatter you with bike rides and playtime in your parks. Should we have a talk about our relationship? We been going steady for awhile now, maybe we can bring it to the next level? We know there's other bands out there, baby, but nobody can do you like ER can. All we want is to beeee wit choo, gurl. Yeeeah.

Do you want to know some secrets?

A couple fun things for you today.

First, I had a dream last night about ER, specifically about Two Silver Trumpets, a song from our upcoming album. You can read about it here in my dream blog.

Also, Tom is bored this week, so let's all write on his facebook wall.

And here's a hilarious video I saw. Check it. The music is a song called Sweaty, by an act called Muscles, but it's the Shazam remix. Great lyrics:

My hand slipped into your hand,
And it was awesome,
And you were special.

Last night Hilery came over with boi friend and we danced to it. Have you checked out the new itunes visualizer? It will make your pants rotate 180°. I think you need the latest version to get it. This is a picture of what happens when you put Two Silver Trumpets into itunes.


Have a normal thursday, everyone.

Your Worries are Over

It's Aaron, back at you at the wheel of the blogmarine.

The ER is safe and sound back in wonderful autumn Provo, Utah curled up next to their fires, and one of us is in our boyfriend's arms (guess who).

Is there anyway we can turn up the heat around here, or do we have to put on sweaters? I'm writing in my studio, a converted old garage with a bad radiator, and my hands are a little stiff from the coldness. Maybe I just need hand sweaters - mittens, yeah. Or I can warm my hands by the preamp. (Actually just tried)

So it turns out that if you form a band, all your worries are over. Here's how:

People will want to hang out with you, like Alli and Alex Jones from Marina Del Rey. Alli and Alex have low to medium time commitment jobs, which meant they had lots of time for ER hang-outs. Go to Marina Del Rey sometime if you're in LA. It's a charming marina community, made mainly of retirees and cougars (the new old maids). Maybe you can hang out with a cougar until you get into a band.

You'll also get to play with other cool bands, like The Dreams of Rip Van Winkle and Vallet, with whom we played Saturday night in Las Vegas. Dreams of RVW is totally that band that goes "F___ YEAH!" after each song. Those guys were really fun; one of them was this awesome Asian guitar guy that was entertaining to watch.


Next, your friends will do anything to see you play live, like ours did Saturday night. They showed up in planes and cars and came to Vegas's Freakin' Frog just to see us, which made the last show of tour feel so great. Thanks, dudes. If you're lucky, you might even get a soul train, like we did.

You will also have really nice places to stay, like we did that night. Our friend's really nice condo looked like it was straight from a modern architecture magazine, and overlooked some of the strip:


Finally, you'll have some of the best friends in the world, your band mates! AW SHOOT!

Sentimentalities appropriately mocked, here is what we listened to on the way home:

Beatles: Rubber Soul, Revolver
Police: Outlandos D'Amor
Queens of the Stone Age: Era Vulgaris
some Doors collection

Everybody join bands, your lives will be great. Maybe the band will replace the family as the central institution of society.

We'll be taking this week off, except for the Velour show on Saturday night, and then work hard on the album the following week. Juber is editing a new music video as we speak. Keep reading if you like, I'll be posting even though we're not on the road.

East LA Shakedown and the Eternal Sickness

This is Tony. The blog duties fell upon me for the night. Hallo.

Last night, we played a show in East LA. Days before the show, there was a murder a couple blocks away from the venue--Mr. T's Bowl--and the cops were crawling all over the place. Thomas and Spencer were hanging out in the venue's parking lot in a friendly, social manner when a friendly and social police officer approached them and asked them some friendly and social questions as he friendlily and socially ordered them to spread their hands on the hood. He searched them, asking them questions about whether or not they had weed and whatnot. Meanwhile, Hillery and I were out walking around, searching for a place to eat. As we were walking down the street, some seedy man called out to us, saying, "Hey, girl!" I wondered if the man was referring to me due to my long hair and the delightful floral pattern of my shirt. Hillery got a little spooked, so she promptly prodded me to cross the street before I could start up a conversation with the friendly person.

As far as the show at Mr. T's went, it was WAY good. we played with the Christopher Walk-Ins, National Treasure and the Hard Edge. The show was set up by our friend, Eric, from Codpiece. He's currently mustache-less (unfortunately so--he needs to grow it back--I suggested that we start a petition for him to grow it back--it needs to happen). Anywho, it was a really great show, especially considering that most of us were sick. In fact, we got sick just FOR the show. That's just how dedicated to rock we are. We made some new friends with the Christopher Walk-Ins and The Hard Edge. We also made friends with Bam and Share from Rock N Roll TV (www.rocknrolltv.net)--who filmed our show and then interviewed us afterward--they'll be posting the footage later this month. Bam and Share's band used to tour with Alice Cooper. They were way cool to talk with; definitely check out their website.

So, tonight we had to cancel our first tour show...ever. I suppose it should come as no surprise, since the whole band has been sick at one time or another during the past week. My voice was especially dicey today. I basically maxed it out last night; it was already pretty compromised going into the show. I felt like I would have been able to pull out the energy for the show tonight, but the strain on the already extremely strained voice would have been utterly naughty.

Well, I'm feeling pretty gross at the moment, so I think I'm gonna go ahead and close out the blog for the day. Over and out.

90% of our time is spent:

School Jamz

Kids, stay in school, here's why: it turns out that you might just get a better rock show at school than in a bar.

Last night ER played a trilogy of steady-as-she-goes sets at San Louis Obispo's Frog and Peach, a pretty good bar on the main drag in downtown Obispo. You know it's a good bar when you hear Zeppelin and the Doors before you even walk in.

And while the expected room of in-and-out somewhat-sloshed patrons never disappoints, there's something about a school full of hungry, restless teenagers that tops even the rowdiest pubs. Today, we rocked a crowded courtyard at Santa Ynez Union High under the radiator sun of lunch hour.

One of the best moments came when, as the dancing was getting to moshing, the recently hired principal got on the mike in between songs and banned all movement entirely. The party people in all of us screamed back at her, but secretly we love the collision of wills. Repress us, yes! We'll only want to party more.

So stay in school, because that's where the best show is gonna be anyway, girl!

It was a good feeling meeting you SY kids. A few we remember: Kelly, who wanted our names on her arm, what an honor. Next time we're in town, we want you to sign our arms, too. Also, it's always cool seeing music lovers like James and Colin, with Hendrix and Tool shirts, who talked drums and cymbals with Tom. Everybody RULES here in Santa Ynez. We're even coming to your water polo game in a few.

First Kiss

Tom: Jaynee, in her basement in 7th grade

Hillery: Mike, he split a piece of gum with her on her couch, "Lady and the Tramp" style

Aaron: Becky, in the tall grass next to a church

Spencer: Erin, in his parents' basement during the closing credits of Groundhog Day

Tony: Rachel, in his parents' basement after watching Night of the Hunter


Reader analysis is welcome.

Is this the Real Life?

Tour is proving to be everything you didn't think it would be. We're performing shows in people's living rooms, playing kickball with the neighborhood, and we're all getting sick. But we don't hate it. In fact, the last few days have been as relaxing as ever. The feeling is that we've found some kind of home away from home.

Here's the Saturday night concert.

.

Which, I believe, in the end is what it's really all about: having a complete jam in someone's living room. We don't know why so many cool people love us, but we're going with it until something else happens. This is the Nashes' living room. You will note that some of the people dancing are over forty. Turns out moms kind of have a thing for us.

Is it a real tour when you stay with families you've never met before who feed you and treat you like royalty?

Today we woke up and walked down to the warf in Monterey, California. We're all a little down with something, so this is the place to be, right? If you're going to get sick, at least make it sunny and pretty outside. Hopefully we'll write a song or two and have a stranger take a really bad band photo for us.

Elastic Ask

I'm sitting in Karen Jones's house in Santa Ynez, north of Santa Barbara in California, resisting the temptation to rummage through a stack of interesting looking papers in front of her computer screen. I have this sensation often, I think I just have this insatiable curiosity with STUFF. It stems from my childhood when some stuff was forbidden or secret. As a kid, for months I collected a good amount of stuff (mail) in our kiddie desk drawers, until my mother discovered the secret stash. It turns out some of that stuff was kind of important, like the mortgage and bills, and to this day I am the only reason I'm aware of that my parents' credit rating wouldn't be top notch.

Karen Jones has been serving us omelets with asparagus, hospitality, and non stop entertainment. It's a little like listening to an above average radio show with a pretty funny political commentator, except that it's right in front of you, unedited, which makes it a really amazing show with a hilarious commentator.

Last night we played a charity show organized by Karen for a young LDS woman fighting cancer. Three bands played, and in between each act was an auction for the privilege of cutting some Jones family member's long hair. The climax of the evening was when 32 years of Karen's post-menopausal, opinionated, good-natured hair fell to the ground. Here's a picture of the couple last night's charity was held for. Not to get all somber, but they were only married for four months when Nikki Nash was diagnosed. It's good to be a part of something positive in the face of everything that sucks in life.

I'm too lazy to write a good transition: think of something else for a second before moving on.

Oh - here's a good one - excerpt from our omelet breakfast this morning: "Damn, I want a Pop Tart!" - Karen

Now imagine a mardi gras scene with crazed teenagers falling over each other as the sun sets on a California college town. Tonight, Elizabethan Report is supposed to play in the middle of that. Hopefully there will be a super positive atmosphere with lots of good will. Actually, apathy's pretty hot right now, right? Maybe I don't care at all how it feels there. I'm just a big brick, nothing will affect me.

We're maybe a month away from a new music video, and a little more away from a new album. So I don't want to hear any excuses from any of you about being sad this month. Nasty breakup? Hard to decide what you want to do in life? You have no reason to dismay if you've been reading this blog. None of your failures and heartaches will put a dent in the positive energy we've all got together.

We Leave, Yes, We Leave

We got a whole transmission rebuilt by a team of shop guys today, so we're good to go. If you're gonna drive, drive all night long. That way you can prove to everyone you're BADD.

This is Sego

Here's a few dreams from ER's show at SEGO this weekend. See these dream creams? See these dream cubes?

The Big Boy (1994 Dodge 12 passenger van) is at the shop today, being worked on by Clayton, who amazingly might be able to rebuild Big Boy's entire transmission this afternoon. Whatever happens, we're hitting the road tonight at 6pm sharp. We don't care if we have to change the gears with our bare hands, we're making that show tomorrow night in Santa Barbara.

Rock over London, rock on Chicago.

ER, World Still Loving Each Other in Spite of Everything

Associated Princess - With the world in turmoil Saturday over the financial crisis, disco punk band Elizabethan Report continued to lick and love the world at two Utah shows. Area persons wandering by the Live and Local Stage of the X96 Big Ass Show found a crowd and ER romping together, despite the threat of all our money being sucked away. And later that night, while men in suits were sweating over the details of a bailout plan that strives to ensure we can all still live in our homes, "Sweat Swat Swote" brought ER and a large SEGO crowd together in love on a lawn near the mental hospital.

ER guitarist Spencer Peterson instructs sign wearers how best to commune with the audience Saturday at the X96 BASH.

Love and happiness prevailed throught the SEGO show, as members of other bands joined ER on stage for a performance of The Talking Heads' "Psychokiller." Guests included John White of the John Whites, Josh Brown of Mathematics Etc., Landon Young of Virtual Pandas, and JR Boyce of Pierrot Le Fou.

Part of what may be fuelling the ER's emotional availability is a new album the band is working on. It seems no coincidence that the album is being produced at the same time as Congress's bailout plan. When asked about the similarities between ER's upcoming album and the bailout plan, lead singer Tony Petersen hinted that with his band's new album, there might be no need for a bailout plan. "The upcoming album will actually work in rejouvinating the economy. The tunes will be so potent that the economy will have no choice but to heave and jiggle to the point of complete prosperity. The ablum will both destroy the economy and then rejouvinate it in the course of, I don't know, two months."

The expected release date of the album is Fall/Winter/Holiday 2008-09.

WHOA.

Has this blog forgotten everything? Where you at, selfmadebeast.blogspot.com? Put yourself together, man!

It's been a good summer to the boys and the girl. In August, the band hooked up the trailer and packed their instruments and bags for a cross country tour that almost topped out at 45 minutes. Luckily the band was able to hitchhike to the nearest Wal-Mart to get a battery, and the journey resumed, driving non stop to Chicago where they slept at their mommy's house.

They went on to Pittsburgh where they rocked the same general area as the Raconteurs, Gnarles Barkley, and even Bob Dylan. Tony is pictured above, on stage in solemn prayer. Check out what Pittsburgh had to say about our young band ER:

ER in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

So after they almost won, and met some awesome other young bands doing it, ER threw another logbook of hours onto the tour fire, which burned brightly until late August when the band shot off to Durango and Telluride, Colorado. The band was suprised to be greeted with complete adoration. kindness, and cash. They plan on returning to the mountains often, in an effort to return the adoration and kindness.

At home, ER won the X96 4-play to be able to play in the Big Ash Show. What exactly is a Big Ash? We'll be sure to get pictures of it up here as soon as we find out this weekend.

ER also played their favorite Velour Live Music Gallery of Mayhem and Monolithic Mystique. They and the audience had a frenzied, chest pumping entanglement. After they packed up their instruments, they were suprised to see people leaving. ER wants to say, "Hey dudes, check it out: local music! (smile) It's for real!"

Coming soon, another saga of tour adventure as ER doggedly but happily stuffs their stuff into the Big Boy and heads off to California...

Tickle

Pin me up against the wall
Pin me by my elbows and don’t mind my funny bones
Make me giggle with your eyelash
Go gentle and I’ll keep my arms up
Please please please fill me with feathers

Make my pain your delight
I won’t put up a fight
Hold down my shaking body parts
If I make it easy will you tickle my heart

You squeezed me so hard I almost ran
And tell me honestly--why do you try to be my mother
But your left hand’s in my heart
Your right hand’s inside my head
So I got a new thought--You gotta tickle my ventricles

Make my pain your delight
I won’t put up a fight
Hold down my shaking body parts
If I make it easy will you tickle my heart

I clench my teeth when you touch me like that
But that don’t mean you should pocket your fingers
I like it when you make my crow’s feet truffle shuffle
When you make my crow’s feet truffle shuffle
You can stir all my nerves--Of that I’m sure

Make my pain your delight
I won’t put up a fight
Hold down my shaking body parts
If I make it easy will you tickle my heart

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Sweat Swat Swote

If you lick--if you lick your woo wounds
If you lick--if you lick your woo wounds
nous guerrisons
Won’t you lick--won’t you lick my wounds too
Won’t you lick--won’t you lick my wounds too
je me suis seche

Now that I feel your--now that I feel your pain
Now that I feel your--now that I feel your

It makes me sweat the things that I done
When all my guilt hampers all my freedom
pieds sont liees
I’m a self-made beast--come unlock my cage
Self-made beast--caught in a daze
absence de formalite

Now that I feel your--now that I feel your pain
Now that I feel your--now that I feel your pain
Please please feel me
Please please feel me

Sweat
Swat
Swote
Sweat
Swat
Swote

Now that I feel your--now that I feel your pain
Now that I feel your--now that I feel your pain
Please please feel me
Please please feel me
Please please feel me
Please please feel me
je me suis seche
je me suis seche

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Soy Sauce Sailor

I’m a soy sauce sailor
she makes me feel savory
like a semi-spiced spine

She’s a cold war clipper captain
she keeps her own company
keeps her key locked in a copper cabinet

She’s something like a girl
She’s something like a girl
She’s a white wine widow
I feel like I’m...

She makes me feel alone
She makes me feel alone

I try to be different person
dress like original oregano gangster
but still she won’t look at me

I try to force my way to her cabinet
she grinds my face into the floorboards as I realize
her heart’s never been closer to me

She’s something like a girl
She’s something like a girl
She’s a white wine widow
I feel like I’m...

Fodder under her feet
Fodder under her feet
And the bones between her toes
And the bones between her toes

She makes me feel alone
She makes me feel alone
She makes me feel alone
She makes me feel alone

I’m a soy sauce sailor
she makes me feel savory
like a semi-spiced spine

She’s something like a girl
She’s something like a girl
She’s something like a girl

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Rack Focus

My hand with polished black edges
is segregated from the empty space.

But the demarcation dims as the
succinct borders slowly fuzz out of place.

Until I see for the first time
that you could really use my hand

Because your wee-legged wobbles
are searching for a steady pace.

Bring it back. Bring it back to me.
Rack focus. Rack focus.

Until I see for the first time
that you could really use my hand

But my thoughts they strangle
they tangle my hands behind my back.

Bring it back. Bring it back to me.
And after the test you know I must confess
that the focus best rests off of me
that the focus best rests off of me
that the focus best rests off of me
Rack focus. Rack focus.
Rack focus. Rack focus.

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Pretty

Come to the party
At Mulholland and Kanan
Where the drinks are never on the house
And bring all your jewelry and lay it about your feet
In intricate patterns
And when you fall down and when you fall down
It won’t catch you

I’m afraid we’re going to die
I’m afraid we’re going to die
And that’s okay because
We’re so pretty
Pretty enough to know
Pretty enough to never say goodbye
Pretty enough to die

I saw you at the party
On Sunset at La Plascenta
Where you had to punch the doorman in the nose
And say something dirty about his mother
Just to get in
But no not you I saw you sneak in through the side door
And I never saw you drink from the punchbowl
So what So what So what if I did
It was full of eraser rubbings
And when I choked
I didn’t choke alone

I’m afraid we’re going to die
I’m afraid we’re going to die
And that’s okay because
We’re so pretty

We’re so pretty
Young and ready
We’re so pretty
We’re right ready
We’re so pretty
Betties not Freddies
We’re so pretty

I’m afraid we’re going to die
I’m afraid we’re going to die
And that’s okay because
We’re so pretty
Pretty enough to know
Pretty enough to never say goodbye
Pretty enough to die

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Never Alone

Could you close the door
and leave yourself out?
Leave yourself on the other side
Sure your intentions are more than right
But my feelings are more than wrong

Never alone never alone and I don’t feel quite right
So you say you wanna stay
But I don’t but I don’t but I don’t
Never alone never alone and I don’t feel quite right
So you say I need your help
But I don’t but I don’t but I don’t

Can I lock my door? Can I turn my phone off?
Like the idea of going dark
I know you’re there but I’ll let some time pass
Then maybe I’ll let you back in

Never alone never alone and I don’t feel quite right
So you say you wanna stay
But I don’t but I don’t but I don’t
Never alone never alone and I don’t feel quite right
So you say I need your help
But I don’t but I don’t but I don’t

But you are the sneakiest one aren’t you? Aren’t you?
But you are the sneakiest one aren’t you? Aren’t you?
But you are the sneakiest one aren’t you? Aren’t you?

Never alone never alone and I don’t feel quite right
So you say you wanna stay
But I don’t but I don’t but I don’t
Never alone never alone and I don’t feel quite right
So you say I need your help
But I don’t but I don’t but I don’t

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Keep Being Happy

We've still got it going on, so keep being happy for us, people. We're practicing every day this week to make things great for you.

Coming up on Friday, we'll be playing a fundraiser for a Libretarian candidate for congress at Lumpy's in Salt Lake. It's free entry. Come and pretend you're Libretarian with us. The thing lasts from 7-11. It should be pretty killer.

A new guy joined the band over the weekend. It's a Korg MicroKorg. It's like our Little Tykes piano, but for big boys and girls. It's kind of crazy, because no one really knows what it's going to do in our sound. But we're smiling a little bit at the possibilities.

Have a groovy day. You all probably rule.

Magic Moment

Let's take a minute and delve into Elizabethan past. Many people wonder, "What are you trying to do, Elizabethan Report? Really?" Pretty much the whole point from the start was to play at BYU; to experience acceptance, to be normal, to fit in, to exchange nods with clean cut, friendly zoobers on campus, and to eat mint brownies just like everyone else in our happy valley. Finally, last year, we did it. Here is a brief report.

Tony Tony

Just a bit of news: Anthony Kiedis, singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and organizer of the NAMU festival we're playing in later this summer, has been voted Sexiest Vegetarian of 2008 by PETA.

If Tony were a vegetarian he would have made the list. You know what I mean?

Park City Tele-Vision

Woo-wound of the week: Tom's shoulder, elbow, hand, and knee. As you can see in the video, he is uninhibited.



It's good to be back. The ER took a lighter than usual van up the canyon to Park City on Tuesday night to play live on Mountain Views. It's kind of a newsish weatherish show, and they have a music act play pretty regularly. Here's the interview.



Everyone's back to their lovers, secret crushes, sandwich shop jobs, and being cool in Provo. Tom already misses tour like a guy missing the stuff he sold to the pawn shop.

New types of cuddling:

Muddling - men cuddling
Guddling - girls cuddling
Buddling - cuddling with a bunny

Original Oregano Gangstas

Yeah-heah! Alright, man!

The first leg of tour couldn't have ended more magically. We played our music in the Jones's front yard on a stage Rob Jones had hand-built earlier that week for the music festival they put on ever year. It feels like a family reunion, but for a small town instead of a family, and with really good sound. Since there were so many folk acts, we were afraid we were going to blow people's faces off. But luckily out in the boonies, the jaw drop is a good thing.

(not us performing)

A few moments from Karen as she emceed the show: "I know I'm old, but I kind of have a crush on Tony!" Another: "Whenever I get a little naked around the house, my son goes, "Mom, cut it out, you're makin' me gay!" If you're ever in Santa Ynez, ask anyone in town where the Joneses live, and if you're lucky, you can see some of Karen's yard art.


It takes a lot to have us post the cheesy band pic, so Karen and Rob, just know how much you rule.


"Oh mah gawsh, I'm so sad we're going home!"

Quality Inn, More Like Awesome Inn

Tony's naked, toweled, and stepping out of the bathroom of our first hotel room of tour. Every time we hit one of these milestones, Tom goes, "Aright! We made it! YYeA!" And we all fake like we're going home.

The list: Times we woke up this morning (in order of appearance)

Aaron: 6:45
Tony: 7:15
Tom: 7:45
Spencer: 7:50
Hillery: 8:30

The GIGabethan Report:

You would think that a Starbucks show would be lame, corporate, and that the music would be out of place, especially for a band like us. And you would think a show booked by the same people who left us high and dry last week at a show would pan out similarly. However, last night was one of our best shows. It felt like home to have people dancing and meaning it in a Starbucks. Highlights included Tony on top of a speaker, Tony getting up on the counter, and Tony singing through the megaphone out the front door to some scared looking twelve-year-olds.

The Nicest Guys in the World

Let me introduce you to two of the nicest guys in the whole world.


Arlo and Gus, the old guys pictured above, run Mr. T's Bowl, an old bowling alley converted into a bar venue. And we're not just saying they're nice because Arlo is wearing his Elizabethan Report t-shirt; these guys are genuinely nice. If you're in LA, look this joint up, it's got a great feel.

And here's the hot drummer walking through the door pic:


We played at T's on Wednesday, and then the guys were nice enough to invite us back for tonight. That place just has this magic 'something' that made us play amazing music. Tom's fills were filling, Spencer's riffs were so right, and Tony's tones were on point. Creamy. Tonight's crowd of pissed off Laker fans were glad to have us to console their wounded spirits.

We've had the best juxtaposition of houses to crash at this week. House #1 was comfortably cluttered, and run by our most low-maintenance hosts yet. House #2 was almost playfully precise, as you can see from this set of instructions affixed to the shower wall:


I wanted them to add a few more lines in there, like "Return to bathroom in one hour; check moisture levels with a light cloth. If the cloth is damp, furrow your left brow slightly and invite other house guests to view the anomaly as well. You can then view your furrowed brows together in the bathroom mirror, which, if done with correctness and precision, will provide you with pleasure." It's so fun to see how people live.

Only a few more days of this tour left, but we'll keep blogging throughout the summer. Stay tuned, more to come in the months ahead, like Bob Dylan, band love triangles, and incredible amounts of suspense!

Tour Weekend is Monday through Tuseday

If you ever join a band, and if that band happens to be on tour, you should know that your weekend is not the traditional Saturday / Sunday. It's actually Monday / Tuesday. The cool thing is that the sabbath is actually interchangeable between those days, whichever one you don't have a show booked. Tour sabbath involves deep musical meditation and experimentation, and lots of laughing and having a grand time. Of course, there are more liberal interpretations of the tour sabbath code, like communicating with long distance lovers, or driving too far.

We've had a nice couple of rest days in San Diego. Other than hopping on a Monday night stint at the Beauty Bar in San Diego, Elizabethan Report is happily rested, shorn, primped, and ready for the work week.

We've continued to live in luxury's lap through the tour. It turns out accomplishing this is simple: just park the van in front of a really nice house and make friends with the occupants.

Out of our tour sabbath, or maybe just out of boredom, the ER has gotten really good at threatening each other for fun. These threats are best delivered deadpan. "I'm gonna tie you to a tobbogan and throw you off a glacier." "I'm going to punch you in the face, and then apologize and say some nice things. Then I'm going to punch you in the face again." "I'm going to read you bedtime stories, tuck you into bed, and then elbow drop you. Then I'll leave the books neatly on the bedside table."

Another cool product of tour sabbath is Aaron's new jam, "Secret Crush." He made it on his computer with the built in mic. Vocals were recorded in the house we stayed at and in the van on the way to LA. Click it to lick it.

Secret Crush

That's about it. ER over and out.

A Crowd of Four is All We Need

But before we elaborate on that, let me tell you about Aaron's new 'most hardcore thing he's done on tour': SHOPLIFTING. That's right, y'all heard me. Aaron shoplifted from Wal-Mart in L.A. last night. Now before all you Wal-Mart haters go thinking 'man, this band really gets it,' you should know that this shoplifting was: A, Purely functional, B, By all accounts, ethical, and C. A one time incident (he's such a pansie that he'll probably never do it again.) Ethical? Long story short, Aaron needed an allen wrench, and found a stray, incomplete set hidden in a bin in the Hardware section. The tool set it came from was no where in sight, obviously stolen, so there was no way Wal-Mart could sell the remaining part. Boring! Anyway, The ER got an allen wrench, Wal-Mart got one less problem to deal with, and L.A. got a lot happier.

In gig news, Elizabethan Report is happily paying its dues. After a booking guy skipped town, the ER played the Tribal Café Saturday night to an audience of four friends and two employees. Our policy is "no matter what, put on a killer show," and we can honestly say that at least one person at every show gets into our set.

Today's list: Love Language

Tony: Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation "Especially physical touch."

Aaron: Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation

Spencer: Quality Time

Hillery: Quality Time and Physical Touch

Tom: Sacrifice and Physical Touch

Thanks to Laura German for the photography.

Here's a few dreams for you. Tony had a dream about a town in Idaho where the people are more holy. In fact, the town was so holy that the plants all had really cool personalities. Tony says they were all just really nice to him. Anyway, Tony and some friends found an ant hill under a rock, and rescued the nice plants by spraying the ants with gasoline and lighting them on fire.

Another! Hillery dreamed that she was having an argument with her mom, and every time Hillery talked back, she sang it in her pop singer voice. "MOOOM, I'm NOT living with thirtee - hee - heen year olds!"

Aaron dreamed that he started dating his ex again, only she was a completely different person, way cooler, and not deceiving at all.

And finally, Tom had a dream that the LDS church threw a rave.

Passion

Today's list: The most hardcore thing each of us have done on tour:

Tony: Using the bar as a stage even after he fell off on the first attempt.

Tom: Going for six days without a shower.

Hillery: Surviving the absence of her true love, while also surviving the smelly, loud nature of her band-mates, who are consistently prone to delving into the intricacies of scatological humor.

Aaron: Running into a plate glass window.

Spencer: Going the whole without a cell phone in an act of rock n' roll self-denial.

We recently found out that if you're ever locked out of your vehicle, Santa Anna is the place to be. Almost every male who passed us on the street as we were trying to break in to our van offered some knowledge or a tool. We had coat hangers, flashlights, Slim Jims, and most importantly, techniques. They must teach this stuff in their school districts. But you have to understand that this is more than just something these people know how to do. It's a passion for them. At one point we had three strangers helping us out, and one guy, who was out of suggestions, stuck around to learn how to do it. "I want to get in on that s***, man," he said, grinning ear to ear from the sheer joy of learning.

After rescuing our instruments from van prison, we took them into open mic night, which Ghost Town Jenny helped us find. It turns out that if you bring drums and a megaphone to open mic night, people think you're pretty cool and let you play a few more songs. It was actually a pretty eclectic open mic night. There was a Steely Dan jazz solo guitar guy, a girl who sang about dying rich and keeping all your toys, Ghost Town Jenny, and finally the night rounded out with Josie, a transvestite who sang Christian death metal songs unplugged, and apologized in advance if the audience saw any "nipple action" due to gravitational pull on her top.

Can Elizabethan Report officially endorse someone opening a Trader Joe's in Utah? Mormons are health conscious, right? Mormons are cheap, right? What's missing from this important cultural leap equation?

Last night we got into San Diego, and after dinner from Trader Joe's and a short trip to the beach, we played at Joe n' Andy's Hole in the Wall. We met Jessie, a lightly toasted, friendly guy who was really into knee drumming. "Hey...check this out...did you ever do this in high school?" [Jessie drums his knees] "Check it out!" ER: "Oh yeah, man, that's cool." [ER starts knee drumming too] Jessie: "And what's freaking me out...is you guys already know it!" [everyone drums knees, smiling at each other] Jessie: "I talk to drummers from San Diego...they don't get it, man. They don't get it!" After meeting Jessie, we walked back into the bar to play another set. Aaron: "I don't know why, but I love that guy." Tom: "Yeah, I'm IN love with him, and I don't know why."


If anyone was wondering, here's the story behind the spelling of Hillery's name. When she was born, there was a family acquaintance named Larry who was not very popular in the Hathaway household. Feeling strongly that Hillary was the right name but not wanting to be reminded of Larry, the Hathaways named her Hillery. So there you go.

O.C. People

Here's a song each of us have running through our heads:

Tony: Bring on the Dancing Horses - Echo and the Bunnymen
Hillery: I Will Posses Your Heart - Death Cab for Cutie
Spencer: I am Trying to Break Your Heart - Wilco
Aaron: Juicy - Notorious B.I.G.
Tom: Odyssey, 2nd Movement - Incubus

Elizabethan Report had no idea the O.C. had so many interesting people. Yesterday, we had dinner with Sam and Liz Lambson. Liz, who just graduated from college, has recently begun 'the experiment,' basically she went and got a job at the local McDonald's so she could find out what kind of people really work there. You can read about it here. After one week, she says it's starting to wear on her. Anyway, she cooked us some really fine stuffed chicken, and then we were off to eVocal.

We are such pleasant company.

After we unloaded our stuff, we met Matt, the singer of Sweet Sweet Thing, a band on the bill later that night. He told us about his five solo albums, with songs about wiener dogs and pissed off punks. One of the highlights of Sweet Sweet Thing's set was Matt's one-note solo. Picture an almost Jack Nicholas-esque smile on the frontman's face as he plays the same note over and over again for about a minute.

Later that night, as we were about to leave, we noticed Hillery was missing. After a minute, we got a call from her, saying she was still inside the venue, but apparently they had locked up the place while she was still in the bathroom. Luckily one of the charming Evocal workers was in the neighborhood, and he recovered our Hillery unscathed.

After the show, we went with Ghost Town Jenny (another band on the bill) to Alejandro's across the street. There we met José, who rides the biggest, longest street cruiser any of us has ever seen, complete with six blinking blue and red lights, and a stuffed bear stuck on the middle of the handle bars. It's like the bike version of one of those huge choppers you see in sixties TV shows, except more frail, and tricked out by a Mexican. José told us he welded his own reinforcement beams onto it. He also said it was very difficult to ride. "If any of you can ride it, I'll give you the bike." Aaron took a stab at it, narrowly missing curbs and wobbling uncontrollably. No Mexican beach cruiser for Elizabethan Report. José said he was going to ride it to Pasedena later that night. "It's been four days. I miss my five month old daughter." What was this guy doing at midnight riding to Pasedena? And is his baby's momma cool with him stopping in just...whenever? I'm sure they've got something nice figured out.


Today we hung out with Kim from Ghost Town Jenny. She's a sweetie, and she's got a song with a really great hook called "Without You" that we all loved. She plays with a lap steel player and a banjo player, but she envisions her music with french horn, trumpet, and mandolin added in too. You can hear her here. We went to the beach with her, where she played us Beirut on her ukulele, and then she invited us to her mom's trailer to eat generous amounts of meat, which we did.

Dreams

The tour goes on to West LA, where we've been staying at cousin Megan's house.

Everyone in Elizabethan Report had a dream last night. Here they all are; you can draw your own conclusions. If any of you have some interpretations, feel free to give them.


Hillary dreamed she was being chased by a swarm of bees in a forest in her old neighborhood in North Carolina.

Spencer dreamed he got into a fight with a neighbor, and suddenly the fight turned into a war. He killed several people and felt bad, and then woke up sweating bullets.

Tony dreamed he was walking by a club and had a feeling he shouldn't go there. When he looked in the club, there were goth lesbians doing the dirty. After realizing what was goin on, Tony left immediately. He wishes he would have stayed longer, 'cause it was only a dream.

Aaron dreamed he was in a teleporting chase, like in the movie Jumper. He was running and teleporting at sunset around some girl's house.

Tom dreamed that Jason from Friday the 13th was trying to kill him in a chase. As the dream wore on, Tom was getting frustrated that Jason didn't just kill him already. For real.

In other news, we have acquired a megaphone. It's come in handy on the freeway, where it's now possible to tell people they look good while going 70 miles an hour. Megaphone + Big Boy giant white van = MegaFun. We're going to start doing outdoor shows with Tony on the megaphone. It's got a nice rubber ring around the horn, so no one has to worry about Tony banging them with it. There won't be a problem; rubber is a soft material. The megaphone also has Beethoven's Fur Elise on it, just in case we forget our songs.

The band consensus is that we like LA, and that there's probably a lot more to discover. We've been to a Dodger's game:

-too much to sit still

The Original Tommy Burger (pidgeon ridden):

-"You and me, we eat."

And Sunset Boulevard.

-Paparazzi!

Band practice this morning:


We're getting a little antsy to play shows, so we're getting creative. Tomorrow we play Costa Mesa! We also booked a burrito shop opening next week. Who wouldn't want to see a burrito shop show?

Big boy, what???

Big boy has gotting himself into mischief again, ladies and gentlemen! This is the second complete tire blow out of tour. This time it was an hour outside Vegas, on our way to a gig in Long Beach that night. So good!


We drove back to Vegas, found this great Mexican tire shop near the strip, and got fixed up real nice. Unfortunately we rolled into Long Beach at 1am, a little too late to play the show we had booked. By the way, this is what our gas stations look like. Natural gas makes our Dodge 12 passenger cost the same as a Honda Civic to drive.


It feels good to be here.

Viva

Last night we played in a bar converted from an old strip joint just across the freeway from the Las Vegas Strip. We made friends and had a killer time. Here's a shot of us by the freeway.

Best thing about this tour: so far, no one's been a jerk to us. I know, crazy, it's been three whole days! It's meant to be. ER over and out.

thomas says: I'm thankful to be a part of such a good group of guys and girl, and I'm very lucky to have found music. Vegas is hot and sketchy.

We off

Ok, cool cool cool cool cool.

After hours of mouse clicking, amp hefting, song crafting and ankle biting, we finally took the plunge and left Provo.

We call our vessel the Big Boy.


Here's some cool things each of us brought:

Tony: FM transmitter for iPod: Big Boy does not have a CD player
Hillary: Triple A (we've already used it, read on)
Spencer: After the Revolution (book)
Aaron: R Kelly "Bump 'n Grind" mp3
Tom: Polaroid camera

We finally hit the road at 11 pm, stopped at Spencer's parent's house in Mapleton for a band family-style goodbye complete with motherly concern for our safety, treats for the road, and goodbye hugs. We also have a roadie, Cradam. He's being nothing but awesome to us.

At 3:30 am, one of Big Boy's tires blew up. What??? Not even kidding. Luckily Hillsy has Triple A, so after one of those awkward speakerphone conversations with the operator, ("Can we get a spare?" "What?" "Can we get a spare?") they sent a tired technician out to save us. It's kind of fun being in a huge van while it's getting jacked up and down.

We got into St. George at the break of dawn and crashed right into bed in Spencer's condo. It's got that 80's luxury feel, so we feel pretty pampered. We also feel pretty pampered by our fans; two of them left goodie bags in the fridge for us.


Cradam and Aaron drove to find a tire in the morning. While we were waiting for the tire at Albertson's, these wedding guys stopped us and said, "Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but do you know where we can find a gold thong?" We racked our brains to think of all the thongs we had seen recently, but unfortunately none of the thongs we could think of were close to St. George, and they were all used anyway.


Meanwhile, the rest of us soaked up some heat at the pool. Aaron made German pancakes for lunch, and after all the rest and recovery, we played our first gig in a park in downtown St. George.


We had a diverse crowd, mainly Cradam, but later a hispanic family stepped up to the plate and batted us in for the home stretch of our set. There's nothing like playing under the summer sun in a public park. There's a cool duality between adults, who are generally avoiding the obvious live music going on right in front of them, and their children, who are leading their parents right to the music. Maybe we should start writing more kids songs.

More later. Sleep tight. Hold on to yourselves.